Are you scared of failing? Are you scared of trying something new, or holding back on commitment because you may get the grand title of Failure?
I heard a person say this to me one time while chatting and I never forgot it. Maybe because it hit me in the gut or maybe because I fail a lot and failing has made me the person I am today. I have been challenged my whole life, but I keep rising. “Why do I keep doing this? Tripping up is no fun” I say to myself. But I do believe in the opportunity to try again, to learn, reflect with a new vision. “Failure is a signpost alerting you to the fact that you need to change course”, I wrote this down in my journal. It spoke to me, when I read it and I could relate being on my road to wellness journey.
What does failing mean? Calling yourself a failure is a pretty nasty thing to say about yourself. I personally believe it’s a bad case of fear. What did this person say to me that hit me so hard? This person had to make sure it was right because they didn’t want to make a commitment to be another statistic of failure. “I don’t want to be a failure” they said. What? First of all, if you go into anything believing that you may fail, guess what, you may fail and it just may be out of your control if you involve another person. None of us know if anything we try is going to work out, but it may work and it may not. It’s the lessons we take with us and most times it’s our first attempt in learning.
How are we to change roads if we keep focusing on the one way street? We will all come up against roadblocks in life. It’s the choices we make that put us in the danger zone or take a new route. Sometimes we know it in our heart, but we do it anyway. We travel in the danger zone, we take a chance that it may work and who knows, you may get through, but most times it ends in misery and you lose your joy, love and peace. It’s a lesson learned, not a fail. If you keep doing the same mistake over and over again, the result will be the same every time and then that’s not the first attempt in learning anymore, that will be a dead end street that you need to let your ego down and move in another direction of self-discovery with a coach, therapist, doctor or someone who can help you with this situation.
We are sometimes given roadblocks for us to stop and think and ask ourselves: Which road will I follow to get me closer to my dreams, desires and ambitions?
Sometimes when we fall we get back up and we are in a new world. It could be a new job, a relationship that went sour, a new home or neither home at all, your health can be suffering, your bank account is dry, but that’s life. It can be like that and it may or may not be fun. So what do we do when this happens?
We move slowly or sometimes quickly down another road, depending on the person. In this situation some will feel fear and some will feel freedom, but at the end of the day it’s the choices and the road we choose. Getting back up is the most important and it’s not failing if you just dust yourself off. Maybe failing is when you choose to stay down on your first attempt and not facing your fears, going to the next road and moving forward to your next obstacle. Always remember we are bigger than our obstacle and there’s always someone to encourage you and lend you a hand.
A few days ago at the gym, I was given a challenge to lift a huge tire and my first reaction was “I can’t. It’s too heavy for me”, but then I was given encouragement from the coach and I hooked my hands under the tire and gave it all I had. I did it, I flipped that tire to the other side of the turf. I made a choice that this tire was not bigger than me, even though literally it was. I kept telling myself that I’m strong on the way across the turf. To be honest, I keep telling myself I have no strength, but I will always say,” I used to be strong”. I am working on this mindset. I haven’t believed yet in my strength or flexibility and I struggle everyday with this.
Think about how precious a baby is. They come into the world and are expected to learn everything. They are little sponges that depend on their loved ones to show them and guide them. First, a baby will learn to roll over, but do they roll their first time? Then they crawl, but do they crawl their first time? Next they try walking, and what do they do on their first step? They fall. In their first attempt learning to walk, do they stay down or do they get back up and keep trying? They get back up and they try again and again until they perfect the challenge. We never call a baby a failure because they are beautiful and we just know that they are going to get it right, but we call ourselves failures all the time. Do you agree we need to believe in ourselves more?
I have learned that it’s not F.A.I.L. It is “The First Attempt in Learning” and don’t you agree? Maybe the next time you feel like you failed on the first attempt, second attempt or third attempt, just keep trying and then ask yourself this: “Am I on a dead end street? Do I see that signpost alerting me or if I move down this street a little further will the missing link be on that street?” It is your choice to face your fear and get back up. The view may be different but the growth will be worth it.
What are you afraid of? If at this time you could do anything without failing, what would it be? If it’s safe, I would encourage you to go for it!
I believe you should go for it! If you fail, get back up, dust yourself off, learn from it and try again. Each time, love yourself more and more because you are living in the present. None of us are sure of our tomorrow, but we are in control of this moment. Make it a good one and take failure out of your vocabulary, think of yourself as a beautiful child, a sponge in this world, living life for this second and with no regrets just pushing through our obstacles and facing our fears. Do you know that many people at the young age of 21 years old give up on their dreams and settle because they are afraid of failing and are told that they are expected to be a certain way or they have to follow their parents plan for them? Isn’t this sad when you think about it?
Angela